Practical Ways to Support Your Wellbeing — and Transform the Way You Talk to Yourself

Gun Meskanen
Dec 25, 2025
3 min read

Our wellbeing isn’t just shaped by what happens to us — it’s shaped by what we tell ourselves about what happens. The way we think and speak to ourselves influences our mood, our confidence, how we navigate setbacks, and ultimately how we experience life.

In a recent Happier Thinking podcast episode, Mo Gawdat — author of Solve for Happy and co-creator of the 1 Billion Happy movement — claims we can retrain our brain, beat negative self-talk, and cultivate a more contented, resilient life.

Start by noticing the Voice Inside Your Head - We all have an inner dialogue that runs constantly. Most of this chatter happens automatically; much of it tends to be critical, judgmental, or fear-based. But here’s the thing: this voice is not you — it’s a pattern you can learn to observe and reshape.

Try this practice:

Set aside a few quiet minutes each day and just listen to your thoughts.
Notice how they make you feel — especially when stressed or challenged.
The first step to change is awareness.

Why it matters: Becoming aware of your inner talk gives you choice. You can notice the negative patterns without being pulled into them.

Ask Better Questions — Not Just Positive Ones

Mo Gawdat suggests practical frameworks, like a three-question flowchart, to help people respond to their thoughts more constructively.

Here’s a simple version of that idea you can practice:

Is this thought true?
Is it helpful right now?
What evidence supports or disproves it?

If you catch yourself thinking something harsh (“I always fail”), pause and use these questions to bring logic and clarity into the moment.

Why this helps: It slows the autopilot pattern of negative self-talk and gives your rational brain a chance to recalibrate.

Reframe Your Inner Critic Into a Curious Observer

Instead of judging yourself (“I’m lazy,” “I’m not enough”), try reframing your inner voice as a curious observer:

Instead of:👉 “I messed up again.”Try:👉 “That didn’t go how I hoped — what can I learn from it?”

Research shows that noticing and reframing thought patterns like this strengthens resilience and reduces anxiety.

Build a Daily Gratitude Habit

Mo often talks (in his books and talks) about cultivating realistic optimism and gratitude — not forced positivity, but consistent awareness of life’s good parts.

Daily gratitude practice: Each evening, write down three things that were good that day — even small ones. It could be:

a warm cup of tea,
a moment of calm,
finishing a task you’d been avoiding.

Impact: Over time, this trains your brain to notice positive experiences more naturally.

Talk to Yourself Like You Would to a Beloved Friend

One of the most powerful shifts in nurturing wellbeing is how kindly you talk to yourself. Instead of harsh inner commands, use compassionate language:

Replace “I should do this” with “I choose this” or I could do this"
Say “I’m doing my best right now” and 'that is good enougg"rather than “I should be better”

This aligns with what psychologists call self-compassion — which includes acknowledging difficult emotions and thoughts, and then responding with kindness rather than criticism.

Ground Yourself in the Present Moment

Mindfulness slows the churn of thoughts. Even a brief practice each day helps you notice negative self-talk without believing every thought as truth.

Try this quick approach:

Sit quietly for 2–3 minutes.
Breathe deeply.
Notice your thoughts without judgement — like clouds passing in the sky.

Practices like this help anchor your mind, reduce overwhelm, and give you space between thought and reaction.

Practice Small Daily Actions That Build Confidence

Wellbeing isn’t just internal — it shows up in what you do. Try these daily actions to support a healthier self-view:

Write a brief reflection of one thing you handled well today.
Spend a moment noticing your body (e.g., stretch, breathe).
Do one small act of kindness for someone else — kindness fuels self-worth.

These actions support a positive inner voice by reinforcing evidence of your capabilities, values, and kindness.

Remember: You Are More Than Your Thoughts

Your thoughts are not facts — they’re interpretations that can be questioned, reshaped, and softened. Mo’s work encourages us to separate from unhelpful thoughts, respond constructively to setbacks, and invest in practices that nurture realistic optimism and gratitude. Think of your mind like software — you can update it by noticing patterns, questioning assumptions, and choosing kinder internal language.

Final Thought

Supporting your wellbeing — especially through the way you talk to yourself — doesn’t come from sudden shifts. It comes from gentle, consistent daily habits, courage to notice when the inner critic shows up, and kindness to replace it with supportive, truthful language.

As Mo beautifully suggests in his work, happiness is not something you wait for — it’s something you engineer through awareness, compassion, curiosity, and consistent practice.

See the list below for examples to get started today